Sitting here in this plush modern office of a prestigious bank, I long for a life which was much simpler, much easier and filled with a lot of happiness. I am definitely not sad, but neither am I happy maybe content but that's about it. I miss home, miss my mom's open laugh, her cheerful face flashes in front of me leaving me longing to go back home. Dads constant little demands, his advices his presence and the person he was, his rare show of affection, his impatience... I miss all of it. I miss the sense of belonging, the feeling that there is always someone to help you out.
He lost a lot of himself, and we as a family lost the essence of this man who was very unreasonable at times, had to get his own way but always thought twice about us and placed our wishes and whims before his. The person he was, his strength, his faith in God, his trust in people he loved, his optimism his zest for life and all the good things in life had all been shattered. After fighting cancer for over 2 years, what is left of him is a frail person who has this bouts of depression. He talks about giving up on life, a person who never had anything easy in his life is fighting this vicious monster. But I glad to see that he hasn't lost his faith or the strength he always had, he still take care of himself and my mom when she feel ill. I have always admired your strength dad, thought never have been able to say it loud mainly because I'm shy of such gestures and we just are not that kind of family. I think with cancer you have turned a new leaf and thought it can kill the essence off anyone I think you stood the test and gave us hopes during the dreary times. I regret not being with you and mom all the way but I truly admire you and love you for doing all the things you did, I miss you terribly. I miss fighting with you I miss your attempt in controlling us, sometimes being a stubborn person and not accepting that we are grown up adults now.
Take care dad... Just one of those days when I wish I was near you to make you laugh or gang up on mom with you just to see you laugh and make mom furious :)
Love
Me
