Going to the movies - Solo

After 6-7 years I thought I should try going to the movies by myself. I do admit it’s not the nicest feeling because movies have always been more of a group activity for me. I have a varied taste in Movies so I tend to watch the popular action/thriller's with 2 good friends of mine, chick flicks and soppy rom-coms are a pet peeve of another lovely friend of mine. So different movies with different crowd but generally 2 or more people.

I think the last time I went to a movie alone was when I was young, really young fresh off the boat in London and taking the places, the people, the experience all in. Life in itself was an all-consuming event that I didn't have the time or the inclination to ponder over the fact that I was headed to a movie by myself. Never had the time to think if it was pathetic , sad , would people notice me? Nothing. New movie released, trailer looks good, ask a few people, if no one's interested bah! their loss and I headed off to the cinema with not an ounce of care. I never carried the feeling around like a trophy or a guilt. It was irrelevant in the bigger scope of things.

Now that I am older, I realize the way I think is so very different. I fretted over the fact that I have to go alone. Oh my! What will people think when they look at me? Will they write me off as a loser or someone who was stood up at the very last minute. Should I pretend to be on a call with an imaginary friend who stood me up? So many thoughts just to watch a movie that I was interested. I don't know when it happened and I still can figure out why I care what a bunch of people interested to watch the same movie thinks about me? Seriously when have you actually given a person you saw at the movies alone more than a 10 seconds of your thought? But still why this horrible sinking feeling?

My theme to doing anything in life is if you are doing something do it right. And I bought tickets and headed to the cinema hall #1, plonked myself on the middle seat of a row of five seats. Soon the hall started filling up, all of them couples avoiding me and my row like plague. Maybe they worry its contagious? :D finally lights dimmed and on with the trailers, I'd like to add at this point that I love love love watching movie trailers, for a lazy person like me whats the least effort you spend to know more about a movie, yes! a trailer few seconds of your time and boom! you know about it and you can decide if you want to watch it or not. Ok coming back, the trailers started and a fairly middle aged couple approached my row gingerly like I was rabid dog in a cage. The brave lady  started off by waving her jacket at my face maybe to check if I would latch on or growl. Since I didn't bite or growl, she asked me if she could sit next to me, I politely replied "Sure!". Few interesting trailers later I thought let me have a peek at these two and good lord! I should have been giving them change for the condom machine and some sound advice. I moved very quietly to the far end of the row so not to let them lose their suction on each other's face and having been grossed out and lost my appetite for the pricey popcorn, I carried on with the movie.

Two hours later I walk out and you know what I feel the same as I felt 7 years back. It just doesn't matter. I patted myself for having successfully getting through it. Got home and cried myself to sleep when it dawned on me how fickle minded I've become in life.